Chapter 1

How to begin the story that God wrote and has been writing since before we were even on this planet… Our lives are but a knot on the long rope of eternity, and now in my 37^th year, I am seeing the knot as it truly is: tiny.  I love the story of how my parents met, how they had 3 daughters, and raised us to love God and others.  I love how I met my husband and had an inkling right away that we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together.  I love how we had 3 daughters that are more precious to us than we could ever have imagined.  I love how God wrote “adoption” on our hearts and brought an amazing son into our family from a world away.  Looking back, it all makes perfect sense and I can’t imagine things any differently.  But, before all those things happened (and even while they were happening), I had doubts.  The peace that I felt deep down at the bottom of my soul was shaken by people’s comments, criticisms, and concerns.  I wish I wasn’t so easily swayed by other people’s opinions.  But I do believe that at times they have merit and that most times they are well intended, “for my good.”  Pausing to ask questions like “Is Galen really the man God wants me to spend the rest of my life with?” “Am I really prepared to be a mother?” “Can we really handle a third child?” “ Does God truly want us to add a 4^th child through adoption?” isn’t bad.  I’m just so glad that I didn’t let other people’s doubts or concerns stop me or us from moving forward toward what God had most certainly intended for us to do.  His ways are not our ways.  They are better.    

We are finding ourselves at one of those pivitol moments once again.  God is calling us toward something that doesn’t make sense to the rest of the world, and actually many would advise against it, but we have a peace deep in our souls about doing it.  The fact that Galen and I have earnestly been seeking God’s will on it (together and separately), that we have arrived on the SAME page about it, that our convictions match, and that we have an unshakable peace and excitement about it confirms our decision to move forward.  We are still scared by all that is unknown.  I am still stirred by people’s comments and reactions though I am prepared for them.  This week I read these words which exemplified how I feel, “Sometimes I feel like when I make decisions that are remotely biblical, people who call themselves Christians are the first to criticize and say I’m crazy, that I’m taking the Bible too literally, or that I’m not thinking about my family’s well-being.  For example, when I returned from my first trip to Africa, I felt very strongly that we were to sell our house and move into something smaller, in order to give more away.  The feedback I got was along the lines of ‘it’s not fair to your kids,’ ‘It’s not a prudent financial choice,’ and ‘You’re doing it just for show.’  I do not remember a single person who encouraged me to explore it or supported the decision at the time.  We ended up moving into a house half the size of our previous one, and we haven’t regretted it.  My response to the cynics, in the context of eternity, was, am I the crazy one for selling my house?  Or are YOU for not giving more, serving more, being with your Creator more?” (Crazy Love, Francis Chan)

Despite the cynics, I believe that the story God is writing in our family right now is a beautiful one.  I could never have dreamed or created it on my own.  It is one of service and redemption and faith and love.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Like marriage and parenting, moving and downsizing, we don’t know what the future is going to look like.  We cannot account for everything, and we have no illusion of control.  We know that there will be challenges and seasons, but we trust in the One who is in control.  We have faith that He is good, that He will never leave or forsake us, that His promises are good, and that He is the Giver of good gifts.  As we begin this journey, we will be intentional about surrounding ourselves with people who will love and encourage us through it-- those who will pray with hope and anticipation of the plans God has.  And in those moments when we feel alone or abandoned, when we sense others’ ambivalence or discouragement toward the path we’ve chosen, when we hear in judgment, “I told you so”, we will know that our Lord experienced those things too and that He is right there with us, loving and strengthening us to keep going.  So you may not agree with or understand what or why we’re doing what we’re about to do, but our goal is not to please or displease you.  It’s to love and serve Him.