Chapter 6

Questions.  Regressions.  We've been hit with both this week.  I welcome the questions, not so much the regressions, and I know that Satan is real and at work to hinder God's plans and desires.  He know our weaknesses too and attacks them, hoping to gain a foothold.  The lovely circumstances we were in just a few chapters ago are no longer present, but we are rolling with the changes and clinging to Him all the more.  Galen is back in school, he's also been ill, stomach aches plague one of our daughters, and another one is back to fearing the potty.  My stomach hurts as a result...  I'm trying to get through the mountain of paperwork to bring Abraham home and also prepare to leave for Africa.  I've got lists coming out my ears and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.  Not to mention that the rest of life goes on.  I recall this feeling very well from our last adoption when I didn't want to necessarily let "adoption" get in the way of the rest of our life-- I had high hopes for proceeding with things as usual and just having "adoption" be in our background.  I wanted to maintain relationships, volunteering, serving, activities, household duties, keeping up with my kids and family, entertaining, etc. and the guilt of not being able to do it all is part of Satan's plan for me think I'm not cut out for this.  And the reality is I'm not.  People often quote that the Bible says that "God won't give you more than you can handle."  But, it doesn't say that at all.  If He didn't give us more than we could handle, we wouldn't need Him at all.  This verse that is so often misquoted is talking about temptation---  

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

 This is what God says about what we can handle:
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 
SO, the point of circumstances not being lovely and of our being uncomfortable and of our wondering how we are going to do this is so that "Christ's power is made perfect."  Practically, for me, that means taking 1 day at a time and asking God, "What should I do next?" in every decision- whether it's saying yes to help with the yearbook, to sub a class, to do my laundry, to spend time with a friend, or to write this post.  And when I feel Him telling me what to do, I want to be fully present to it.  That means some things that I would "normally" do, I'm not going to do (which may disappoint people!)  Because I know that life works best when my priorities align with His, I wholeheartedly desire to know what those priorities are, which means seeking Him.  As my very straight-forward and wonderful husband says, we should be asking God, "What does obedience TO YOU look like in this moment?" And then we should do it-- whether it's to adopt or to do the laundry.  Simple and profound:  Living for an audience of One.  
These next few weeks are going to be BUSY.  But I want to absorb every moment.  I'm preparing to go to another "world" where I'll be visiting orphans and widows and interacting with missionaries who are doing incredible things out of love and obedience to Him.   What do you take for such an experience-- for my comfort?  For all the people I'll meet?  I'm preparing to meet my son.  How do I prepare my heart for this experience and what should I take tangibly to give him and the rest of the children that we will have to say goodbye to?  I'm preparing to leave my kids and husband here! This is truly the hardest part of going for me, and I want to not only have meals made and schedules prepared but also to spend lots of quality time with them before we are apart.  My heart feels split in 2 and I know it won't be whole until everyone is home together under one roof...  whenever God wills that to be... 
 "We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."  C.S. Lewis
  “God will only give you what you would have asked for if you knew everything he knows."  
Timothy Keller